Tag Archives: Review

Ted, Teddy, Holy F**k!

Have you seen Ted? No? Why not!?

I was very skeptical about this film but I decided to go see it because I was less skeptical about Ted than I was about the Amazing Spider-man. I was not disappointed!  I laughed out loud several times at the inappropriate jokes, weird situations and awkward moments.  The dialogue is just insane and routinely points and laughs at it’s self, which is something few movies do….it really makes fun of the obvious flaws in the plot and the uncanny similarity between Ted and Peter Griffin.

The humor in this film is inappropriate in the way that Family Guy is inappropriate, it’s socially/politically incorrect and dares to comment on situations that, most of us, purposely avoid discussing.  The novelty of this profane insanity coming from a stuffed animal never wears off! You never really get use to the adult attitude, voice or mannerisms…nearly every scene is surprising, solely because it’s such an absurd concept. The plot is a classic romance scenario in which a friendship is broken up in favor of an increasingly serious romantic-attachment.  This traditional storyline is shaken up by an interesting kidnapping scenario (enter Giovanni Ribisi – who plays an EXCELLENT CREEP) and is ended with a reverse-reverse Velveteen Rabbit, which is bastardized by even more political incorrectness.  The ending, which is initially sad and uncomfortable is quickly rerouted into something hilarious and awkward.  This R-rated Pinocchio-like tale is all-in-all a really funny film for those out there who do have a crass sense of humor or who can at least appreciate one.  Many aspects of this film are offensive and derogatory so perhaps keep that in mind if you are planning to see it and remember – yes, the main character is a Teddy Bear but, no, it’s not a children’s movie.  This is as much of a children’s movie as Pan’s Labyrinth is….and I know several parents that made that mistake o.O

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Pixar’s BRAVE

Honestly? Just a great film!

The animation is stunning and the plot is heart warming, an honest to goodness feel good movie. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who has yet to see it, so I won’t go into too much plot detail. What I will say is that the story is pretty standard Pixar. They excel in setting animation standards but flop when it comes to original stories. It’s a tried and tested fairy-tale template BUT I still really enjoyed it.

It’s child – even infant – friendly both for the mildness of theme and the one and a half hour time frame. The dialogue was very entertaining and keeps the adult audience engaged and laughing throughout. I highly recommend this film for any age group!

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Fifty Shades of Twilight

I realize that Fifty Shades of Grey is not a film…however – it likely will be in the near future so I’m going to over analyze it now! Also…just in case any casting director sees this blog…the natural choice for Christian is Alexander Skarsgard.  But this is quite beside the point.

So is it just me? Or has someone else realized that Fifty Shades of Grey is Twilight minus the vampires…plus Viagra.  You don’t see it? Really?  Well let me break it down for you.  We have Ana, sweet-clueless, self-deprecating and seriously clumsy Ana…who coincidentally is beautiful but thinks she’s average. Hmm…that sounds a lot like Bella Swan to me.  Then we have Christian, gorgeous, rich, built like a god, aloof and brilliant….is that Edward? Why I do believe it is! Furthermore, Christian was adopted and so were all his siblings….now that I think of it…the whole Cullen family is adopted aren’t they? Strange.  Christian is inexplicably drawn to Ana and despite warning her off he just cannot keep away from her and cannot help but be concerned for her safety.  Do I even need to point out the parallel between Edward and Bella here?  Ana’s parents are divorced and her mom is described as “hair-brained” and has remarried.  Ana also has a distant but fond relationship with her father who is emotionally reserved, socially awkward and enjoys fishing. By golly! I seem to remember this family dynamic from somewhere….is this the Swan family and Charlie?! Then of course there is Jose, the Jacob character, who like Jacob, is pushy with his feelings toward Ana who is not romantically interested in him…although he is gorgeous and clearly the safer choice.

So what’s the difference?  Christian is a sex-crazed S&M control freak and Ana is an idiot (willing to concede that Bella is no Steven Hawking). That’s pretty much the dividing principle between the two stories.  So now that we have confirmed that there isn’t a shred of originality here…I’d like to point out a few other issues.  Did you notice the spelling/grammatical errors? I found three in the first half of the book where the wrong suffix has been applied thus rendering a whole sentence unreadable. It’s really annoying.  This is a professionally published work and they can’t seem to find time to proofread?  As a side note, I am available to proofread any of your future publications, Vintage Books.  Did you also notice the repetition of descriptives during the sex-scenes? The same words are utilized repeatedly, the phrase “Oh my,” is now indelibly embossed on my corneas and by the mid-way point of the book I was bored. I’ve been more creative in a 5 line text message than James has been in nearly 400 pages.

So…after doing some research I discovered this tidbit on Wikipedia.

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilightfan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name “Snowqueens Icedragon”. The piece featured characters named after Stephenie Meyer‘s characters in Twilight, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. After comments concerning the sexual nature of the material, James removed the story from the fan-fiction websites and published it on her own website, FiftyShades.com. Later she rewrote Master of the Universe as an original piece, with the principal characters renamed Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and removed it from her website prior to publication.[7] Meyer commented on the series, saying “that’s really not my genre, not my thing … Good on her — she’s doing well. That’s great!”

Perfect…so now that we have confirmed that this is, indeed, a rip-off of Twilight, I can get on with my life and waiting for the film adaptation that is currently being bid on by three different studios. My only hope if that this film is acted better than Twilight!  Good Grief.

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Snow White and the Hunstman…such a Painful Cinematic Experience.

What a flop.

I have to acknowledge that Charlize Theron plays a crazy bitch, wickedly well!  She was absolutely the shining star in this film.  Unfortunately that is the only positive thing I can merit this film with.  I understand that this is suppose to be a re-take on the classical story but is it really? The only ‘new’ concept in this film is portraying Snow White as a Joan of Arc type figure – only much less capable. Truthfully, I can’t even say that’s a new concept. If you have ever watched the television show Once Upon a Time, the Snow White character in that series is also a warrior and that show wrapped it’s first season before this film was released. So I guess there goes that original concept.

Another shortcoming was that the storyline felt disjointed and rushed. The Huntsman and White never really have a strong scene together to solidify there relationship (whatever that may be) or get the audience to invest in them emotionally….then we are expected to “buy” into the idea that the Huntsman’s feelings are strong enough to wake Snow White from her slumber? He’s still carrying a torch for his deceased wife, he has zero interest in White and then he kisses her….why would he kiss her? The other man, William, her childhood friend who has loved White from the start (and who she presumably has feelings for, hence how she was poisoned to begin with) kisses her to no effect. WTF? It makes no sense.  True love’s kiss is what breaks spells….not a smooch from a morally bereft alcoholic. Then there are the dwarves. Where to begin? The fact that they were played by regular size people is an issue, the fact that there dialogue was largely frivolous (completely unnecessary) and the ambiance they provided was strange and awkward….another issue.  They really serve no purpose in the film and seem to be inserted into the story as mere compliance to the Snow White theme. I would even hazard to say they were an afterthought….something written into the plot after the fact – that’s how poorly their presence fits into the film.

Oh, I almost forgot. The piece de resistance! Kristen Stewart.  Let’s talk about awkward.  The pre-battle speech near the end of the film was weird and unbelievable.  I’m sorry but that rally wouldn’t have won anyone over. I know she didn’t write the script, so perhaps the writer’s need a slap on the wrist there but her delivery was horrendous. It was like she didn’t understand the context in which she was speaking. She raised her voice at the wrong parts of the the speech and when she enters the room initially (upon waking from her poisonous slumber) she doesn’t get much of a delighted or celebratory reception – then she busts into a battle rallying testament. Once again I cry – WTF?! Who wrote this!?  The chick pretty much just woke from the dead and the only sound is crickets? A precursory conversation with the Duke and then she morphs into a warrior? Holy hell this is going to get a lot of Razzies.

My personal feeling is that Kristen kills characters.  Truly.  I read Twilight, the books were very engaging, yes it’s teen fiction, but they were page turners! I was invested in those books. Kristen killed Bella. I feel like she looked the part but her tendency to attempt to appear reserved, unsure and nervous makes you feel ashamed to watch her.  Example? The kiss she gives William in the Woods before she eats the poisonous apple (and the scene after eating the apple :S).  She looked like she wasn’t sure what a kiss was…or like she was kissing a bear-trap. Perhaps I’m being too harsh and all the blame should be lain at the feet of the script-writers? Poor Kristen, really. How could she have possibly embodied a character that was so poorly defined? Snow White starts as a helpless child, then helpless girl in a cell, then bold escape artist, then helpless girl running (aided by the birds), then helpless girl in the woods, then helpless girl aided by Huntsman, then brave powerful woman having a Mexican-standoff with a troll, then a negotiator, then mother-nature, then lover, then martyr, then walking-dead, then crusade captain, murderer and finally Queen.  Seriously, that’s the progression of the character with ZERO transition explaining or describing her evolution. She’s scared and helpless, then she’s not, then she is again and then she’s not.  So bizarre.  Honestly, this isn’t even the tip of the awful iceberg but I can only tear something apart for so long before I start feeling sorry for it. I’m at that point now.

I’d like to hear your take on it, did you enjoy it or do you want your money back?

 

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Prometheus: A Film Review

Let’s start by stating that, yes, it is a prequel to the 1979 film, “Alien,” even the movie poster pays homage to it – so lets not argue! Interestingly enough, it received a 74% approval rate from critics and viewers alike, according to Rotten Tomatoes.  However, if you are anything like me, then your tastes never coincide with Rotten Tomatoes statistics…sometimes I wonder if critics and viewers just saw the same film I did, but that’s neither here nor there at the moment!  Typically I find Rotten Tomatoes to be right about 60% of the time (where viewers votes are concerned) but if a movie has been touted as being AMAZING or OSCAR-WORTHY for weeks before it’s debut, viewers become zombie’s and rate a film really well even if it was not the greatest. So I believe in making up your own mind about a film and don’t avoid watching it just because you heard some things or your friends didn’t appreciate it.  Keeping that in mind, I am attempting to be honest about the films I cover, giving credit where it is due and pointing out the flaws, when they exist. So get your grain of salt ready.  Also, I have my own built-in biases – naturally. I love movies with really clever dialogue and humor and I strongly dislike slap-stick comedy, I am also very critical of modern horror movies BUT I will try my best to remain impartial. Feel free to point out if I am being unfair!

Without further ado, let’s get to it!

The acting in this film was incredible, it was visually stunning and the dialogue was well-written. So where did it fall short? Probably the biggest failing, if you can call it that, was the tempo of the film. It was slow moving – which made it difficult to sit through a midnight sneak-peek and it was fairly anti-climactic. Somehow I was expecting much more action.  If you are going to create a film of this nature and have as much build-up throughout the movie, as this one does, it better be worth sitting through that build-up.  I mean, you better blow my mind with action sequences, edge of my seat thrills and a bombardment of horrifying creatures for a decent portion of the film. I wanted more suspense and more pay-off for that suspense.

Although this movie should be considered to have its own identity, being a ‘prequel’ means that comparisons are unavoidable. It has a lot to live up to in the action department where the other ‘Alien’ movies are concerned. It just didn’t fill the shoes of its predecessors in that department.  Another beef? It was in 3D and once again, it was actually a movie that could have truly utilized 3D, but didn’t.  Why use 3D if you’re not actually going to USE 3D. You know what I mean? Things should be flying at my face, blood splattering at me, weapon and debris whizzing past my head…I feel that making a film in 3D these days, simply means they can charge you an extra $6.00 for your ticket which includes cheap glasses, that they expect you to return after the film.

I would recommend seeing this film for certain components, just like True Grit or Avatar. True Grit was incredibly acted and Avatar was visually mesmerizing….but were any of them the whole package? No. Neither is Prometheus. It is worth seeing for certain aspects but overall…I’d wait for the Blue-Ray to hit the shelves.

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Tresemme Split Remedy = Amazing!

Review: Tresemme Split Remedy Shampoo and Conditioner for normal hair.

Note: The product claims to drastically change your hair in just three uses. I have been using it for over a month, every other day to every 2 days.

Price Point– Excellent 5/5

I paid about $8.00 for both Shampoo and Conditioner at Wal-Mart. A good tip to keep in mind when shampoo shopping; If it’s a new product that you have never used before check out the travel section where they sell miniatures of everything.  New shampoos are often available in miniature for next to nothing, so you can try it without investing in a bulk amount.  If you don’t like the product you won’t be left with an entire bottle of it that you have zero intention of using!

Scent – Good 3/5

Not floral or fruity…it just smells clean, almost like fresh laundry. I enjoy it.

Results – Excellent 5/5

The Verdict

This product REALLY stands up to the claims it makes. My hair feels incredibly soft and looks really healthy.  Believe it or not, before this product I was an avid Head and Shoulder’s 2in1 user :O  I have used Tresemme products in the past and found them to be okay but nothing to write home about.  After the first few washes with this new formula I could not stop touching my hair! It’s like silk now and super manageable. My ends look great, not a split insight. I pushed this product to the limits as well and went as long as possible in between washes to see how it was on oil control. I find that products that leave a large amount of residue in your hair after rinsing tend to cause your hair to look grimy within a day or so of washing.  The less residue the longer your hair looks fresh. I was able to go 5 days WITHOUT WASHING again before my hair started looking oily and in need of a wash.  How amazing is that?! So if you suffer from an oilier than average scalp this might be a great option for you to consider.  I can confidently say that this product will be my go-to from now on and I highly recommend it. I will without a doubt continue to test other products but this has become ‘old faithful’ for me. 

I would love to hear from other people who have given this product a try! Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below or email me @ fashionandfimfemme@gmail.com

For more info on this product, visit http://www.tresemme.ca/Products/Split-Remedy/

 

 

 

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Olay Total Effects – Testing, Testing, 1,2…3?

Review: Olay Total Effects 7 in 1 Anti-Aging Daily Moisturizer.

Note: I have been using this product for nearly 2 months, every day- often twice a day, according to the product recommendations. I have minor fine wrinkling around the eyes, nothing deep-set so I was really focused on seeing an improvement in that localized area.

Price Point – Good 3/5

I bought this on sale along with a face cleanser for $20.00 CAD. Typically the moisturizer alone sells for $28.00, so based on the regular price I would say GOOD, on the sale price I would say EXCELLENT.

Scent – Amazing 5/5

This product comes in a fragrance-free formula which ultimately smells like sunscreen. I personally prefer fragrance free so this was a bonus for me.

Moisturizing Properties – Fair 2/5

Results – 3/5

The Verdict

I would say this product is ok – just ok.  It’s marketed as a moisturizer but I found that it’s moisturizing properties were lacking. Depending on the type of climate you live in (mine is quite dry) this product could easily be insufficient.  On the plus side it does absorb quite quickly and leaves the skin feeling smooth and soft but within a few minutes of applying I was compelled to reapply because my skin was feeling dry and tight again. Result-wise I can’t say I have noticed a difference in the wrinkles. After my skin went through the rebellious phase of breaking out and getting extra dry, which happens every time I introduce a new skin cream, it looked the same. The fine lines around my eyes were unchanged and as far as prevention goes, it’s sort of a “catch-22.”  If I continue to use it my lines may never get worse but I’ll never know if it’s my genes or the product and if I stop using it and they worsen I’ll never know if the product would have prevented it. That is how the anti-aging market works though, isn’t it? You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t! I feel like prevention is the way to go if you start preventing at about 20 years of age, but if you already have some damage then you need to do repair and prevention, otherwise you’ll never know if you are actually spending your money on a product that works. So go for something that promises visible results in a reasonable time and consider taking before and after photos to really test it. I gave the product a 3 out of 5 for results because although the anti-aging aspect of the product didn’t blow my mind in the least, it did improve my skin’s overall texture and appearance.  I have decided not to continue with this product and will instead be moving onto something that has visible restoring properties as I find prevention-only products require you to invest a lot of faith in their capacity to actually prevent,

JoMP Photography.

and I am a girl who needs to see change to believe something is changing!

What are the Experts Saying?

“The number one thing is prevention. If you put all your money into fixing what time and the sun does to your face and you don’t back up that repair with an oxide sunscreen, damage will continue and only get worse. Oxides include; zinc, silica, or titanium so you should be looking for these ingredients in your skin repair and aging-prevention products. Over time low grade ultra violet A (UVA) rays penetrate skin and cause a loss in collagen which leads to sagging and wrinkles; oxide sunscreens block that penetration. A daily moisturizer that has vitamin A is also good idea. This will help to moisturize and slowly rebuild collagen over time. C&E peptides are also good to lighten, tighten and brighten your skin, so having those in a product is a bonus.  Keep in mind that UV rays can penetrate through glass, cause skin cancer, brown spots, freckles, rosacea and wrinkles, so finding a great daily product is not only key to looking younger but also for your general skin health and well-being.” Asya Ford, RN Dermatology.

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