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The Femme has MOVED

Come visit me at my new location, you’ve already missed a few updates! I am also chatting about books now too so visit me over at The Book Femme 🙂

I have some exciting stuff coming up before the end of the year including a regular guest speaker from the fashion and design industry as well as some eBook buzz! Stay tuned.

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Fifty Shades of Twilight

I realize that Fifty Shades of Grey is not a film…however – it likely will be in the near future so I’m going to over analyze it now! Also…just in case any casting director sees this blog…the natural choice for Christian is Alexander Skarsgard.  But this is quite beside the point.

So is it just me? Or has someone else realized that Fifty Shades of Grey is Twilight minus the vampires…plus Viagra.  You don’t see it? Really?  Well let me break it down for you.  We have Ana, sweet-clueless, self-deprecating and seriously clumsy Ana…who coincidentally is beautiful but thinks she’s average. Hmm…that sounds a lot like Bella Swan to me.  Then we have Christian, gorgeous, rich, built like a god, aloof and brilliant….is that Edward? Why I do believe it is! Furthermore, Christian was adopted and so were all his siblings….now that I think of it…the whole Cullen family is adopted aren’t they? Strange.  Christian is inexplicably drawn to Ana and despite warning her off he just cannot keep away from her and cannot help but be concerned for her safety.  Do I even need to point out the parallel between Edward and Bella here?  Ana’s parents are divorced and her mom is described as “hair-brained” and has remarried.  Ana also has a distant but fond relationship with her father who is emotionally reserved, socially awkward and enjoys fishing. By golly! I seem to remember this family dynamic from somewhere….is this the Swan family and Charlie?! Then of course there is Jose, the Jacob character, who like Jacob, is pushy with his feelings toward Ana who is not romantically interested in him…although he is gorgeous and clearly the safer choice.

So what’s the difference?  Christian is a sex-crazed S&M control freak and Ana is an idiot (willing to concede that Bella is no Steven Hawking). That’s pretty much the dividing principle between the two stories.  So now that we have confirmed that there isn’t a shred of originality here…I’d like to point out a few other issues.  Did you notice the spelling/grammatical errors? I found three in the first half of the book where the wrong suffix has been applied thus rendering a whole sentence unreadable. It’s really annoying.  This is a professionally published work and they can’t seem to find time to proofread?  As a side note, I am available to proofread any of your future publications, Vintage Books.  Did you also notice the repetition of descriptives during the sex-scenes? The same words are utilized repeatedly, the phrase “Oh my,” is now indelibly embossed on my corneas and by the mid-way point of the book I was bored. I’ve been more creative in a 5 line text message than James has been in nearly 400 pages.

So…after doing some research I discovered this tidbit on Wikipedia.

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilightfan fiction originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name “Snowqueens Icedragon”. The piece featured characters named after Stephenie Meyer‘s characters in Twilight, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. After comments concerning the sexual nature of the material, James removed the story from the fan-fiction websites and published it on her own website, FiftyShades.com. Later she rewrote Master of the Universe as an original piece, with the principal characters renamed Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and removed it from her website prior to publication.[7] Meyer commented on the series, saying “that’s really not my genre, not my thing … Good on her — she’s doing well. That’s great!”

Perfect…so now that we have confirmed that this is, indeed, a rip-off of Twilight, I can get on with my life and waiting for the film adaptation that is currently being bid on by three different studios. My only hope if that this film is acted better than Twilight!  Good Grief.

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Fashion and Films, the ultimate pair!

I created “FFF” for two reasons;  The first being so I can discuss fashion with the world in a way that is both relevant and accessible, the second being so that I can discuss current cinematic samplings in a way that is critical but also entertaining. A review that you WANT to read – that you look forward to reading.

There is an aspect of fashion that is somehow elite – closed to the everyday bystander. Whether it’s the terminology or the seemingly outrageous garbs that initially appear on runways, people just avoid truly engaging in fashion and it’s ever-changing trends. I am aiming to make it fun again, offering insight on how-to translate the runway version to a wearable version and most importantly try to highlight which aspects are going to be the next IT thing(s). Furthermore, I want to spot those trends first, so that you can be the first to sport them!  I plan to achieve this by meticulously scrutinizing the sources – the designers themselves – and their latest runway offerings. I also intend to branch this out into beauty and worth-while products.  All my beauty insight will come to you via personal testing, polls based on volunteer testers and medical professionals – in short it will be the REAL DEAL, just the facts. Is it worth it? Does it work? These are the questions I want answered, once and for all. I have no allegiance to any brand, no advertisers that I must pacify with positive feedback, I am here to serve you.  I will be frank about the results I receive from product-polls and my own personal experiences with said products – so you can make an informed decision. Why? Honestly, we’re not all rich! Right? Some make-up, skin creams and anti-aging products are incredibly expensive! If they end up being garbage then you’ve thrown a way a huge chunk of money that could have gone toward a more worthwhile, effective product.

The films…film reviewing might seem like such an odd match when compared to my other interests listed above and I can understand how you may think that. The thing is – I hate reading film reviews! I find them dry and most often lack-lustre. The fact-of-the-matter is that if you are just going to repeat the exact same thing that I can gather on my own from viewing the trailer…then whats the point?! I have always wanted to read something thoughtful and helpful, sure, but also entertaining! Film reviews are meant to help one decide if they actually want to go-see a particular film. I want to be intrigued by a review not bored to death by it. So hopefully, while I help you stay ahead of the fashion curve I can also help you decide which movie to catch this weekend for date night! Fashion and film really do go hand-in-hand if you think about it!

My plan is to post a movie review on a weekly basis and discuss fashion regularly.  My trend spotter will make guest appearances in a “breaking news” type of fashion, whenever necessary, to convey her best “guesses” regarding which fashion articles and influences are going to be popping up in a store near you and how you can wear it best.  I hope you enjoy this blog and find it useful and perhaps it will even become your go-to source for fashion and film information.

This is for YOU! So please please please comment, ask questions, HAVE REQUESTS! I want to serve you as best as I can, so knowing what you want is key. Don’t be shy, I’m here to listen to what you are interested in hearing about and what you want to know about. Please stay tuned for my first official post! I’m hoping to have something for you to sink your teeth into in the coming week.

Red.Your's truly paying at one of her favorite pass times - modeling!

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